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“Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the highest mountains, your justice like the great deep. You, Lord, preserve both people and animals. How priceless is your unfailing love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights.”
Psalms 36:5-8 NIV
This last week I had the privilege of preaching with one of my youth students for our Wednesday night service. We started a series called “Fully Devoted Follower” and our topic was on what it means to be prayerfully dependent on the Lord. I love the Psalms, because David is such a great example of this. When his life was good, he went to the Lord in praise and prayer, and when it was fraught with danger and uncertainty, he went to the Lord.
I shared a story with our youth students, and I felt like I was supposed to share it here today. In 2019, my husband and I were trying for our third baby. After about six months of trying, we were wondering if we should just be done. Maybe two was enough? After we had made the decision to stop trying, I found out I was pregnant! We were so excited and it was perfect because I found out on December 20th. We had this perfect plan to surprise our families for Christmas.
But then three days later, I started to miscarry. I went to the doctor and prayed the whole time, speaking life over the baby. We needed a miracle.
I didn’t get the answer I wanted. I ended up losing the baby, and we were devastated. When Colton and I came home, we had a few minutes to ourselves. All we could do was sit on the couch and cry—and pray. We had both been raised in Christian homes where we were taught the power of prayer. And even though we lost our sweet baby, we went to God in prayer. While we were praying, God showed me a vision of our little boy, holding hands with Jesus. I believe he showed me this to give us closure and to also wipe away the guilt that the enemy had been trying to lay on my shoulders. (Had I done something wrong to cause the miscarriage? Lies like, “You’re not a good enough mom to the two kids you already have. Why would God trust you with another baby?” Plagued my mind as we sat in the doctor’s office.)
I don’t know why we lost our son, but I know that God is still good and He is still faithful. His faithfulness reaches to the sky!
We all have stories like this. God never promised us lives where things would never go wrong. But he did promise to walk with us.
“I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.”
Psalms 40:1 NIV
Day 8: Psalm 36-40
Day 9: Psalm 41-45
Day 10: Psalm 46-50
Day 11: Psalm 51-55
Day 12: Psalm 56-60
Day 13: Psalm 61-65
Day 14: Psalm 66-70